#that army of wardens was insane

[krems-chair]

I'm always interested in analyses that portray a romanced Solas as a predatory hee hee trickster god manipulating a young and impressionable Lavellan into falling for him and if that's your world state go ahead and live your truth b/c it's frankly none of my business, but I sincerely think there are those who forget that for a lot of people, a romanced Lavellan is (with all due respect to my own Solasmancing Inquisitor Rielle Lavelllan) batshit crazy. Having her boyfriend turn out to be a wolf god is honestly the least of her problems but oh boy is she unafraid to become one to fix this mess.

This is a woman who woke up in a dungeon with a glowing hand, figured out she could fix the world, and thought "fuck it, it's not like I'll have anything else better to do if Corypheus sticks around. Also. Everyone here kind of looks like they want to kill me, so maybe I'll stick with the protective powers that be for a minute." And then all of five seconds later she gets her hand snatched by a sketchy elven apostate who knows exactly what to do with her shiny new powers and cannot stop himself from having a Mr. Darcy level hand-flex after he lets it go (in my heart and soul this happens just out of the camera's gaze) and goes "hmm maybe there's something to be said for this world saving thing."

This is a woman who brought an entire fucking avalanche down on herself and three of her closest friends (and I do mean closest as in physical proximity, she doesn't know these people who are looking at her like she's Thedas' Next Top Idol) because even if it killed her it was the proper middle finger to send to the wannabe god bringing his army tap-dancing down the mountain pass towards her on the one night she had scheduled off to celebrate finally taking a W.

This is a woman going Take 2 Electric Boogaloo on waking up with no idea where she is and learning she was successful in spite-dragging herself up a different fucking mountain in a blizzard. Except now everyone is fighting wait nope now they're Kumbaya-ing a song Andraste's Herald should really probably be familiar with whoops, oh thank God, time for a side convo with the same apostate who's been trying to turn her entire life into a history class only for her to dive in headfirst (much to his initial abject horror) and get that good good discourse she needs since she can't go around arguing with everyone else like she wants to. "The orb is ours." You know what? Of course it is. But if they need the world saved from an elven oopsie, who better to right things than an elf? Fuck it, we ball.

This is a woman who misses being close to nature and goes positively feral at Skyhold, yeeting herself over balconies and banisters and turning the ancient fortress into her personal parkour playground because she's got energy to work off and shit to do, and if the path of least resistance to hunt down everyone she needs to talk to is coincidentally the same path that will absolutely wreck her knees by the time she's sixty, that's just how it has to be.

This is a woman who finds herself back at Haven with a man she's found it possible to be unfetteringly unabashedly herself with and thinks, "hey, maybe there could be more than the flirations we've exchanged over heated discussions and philosophical deep-dives, maybe I can have just one smooch as a treat." And when she feels her slowly unfurling passion reciprocated only to be shut down? She resolves herself to fight for this fledgling love and all the fade tongue that comes with it. This is a woman who gets the tiniest glimpse of what a retirement plan might look like after this whole saving the mortal world thing and buys all the way in.

This is a woman who has Grey Wardens to save from themselves, an empire trying to self-cannibalize, and still finds the time to go rescue a spirit because she, as a fellow comrade caught up in this mess, knows damn well that no innocent deserves to suffer if she can help it while she's got this insane amount of power she never asked for. And if that happens to lead to the man she feels safe enough to nap on the library couches with confessing at last the feelings she knows he's been smothering beneath his all-too-collected surface? Yeah, she'll take that W.

This is a woman who gets absolutely blasted head-over-ass into the fade and goes "honestly things were going a little TOO well." This is a woman who sneaks a peak at the closest fears of the companions she's come to know and love and goes "not on my fucking watch." This is a woman who sees that the man she forces herself to learn the old language for, her vhenan, fears being alone more than anything in the entire knowing world and resolves herself to ensuring it never comes to pass.

This is a woman who gets the opportunity to shape the government of a straight up country and runs around collecting wooden fucking halla in a palace full of elven servants with no time to dwell on that particularly cruel irony because out here it's scheme or be schemed. This a woman who collapses against a balcony railing after putting out some of the sickest literal and metaphorical dance moves The Game has ever seen, resigned to bear her ever-increasing burdens alone, only to find her heart and his horrible horrible hat extending a hand, promising her that if he is not alone, then neither is she.

Like, do you feel me here?

And then he dares to think something as sudden and damning as the truth is enough to keep her away? The queen of tough conversations and tougher choices? No, no, dear readers who have made it this far into my descent into madness.

Inquisitor Lavellan is a master-class in encouraging the odds against her to fuck around and find out. She is a rift-mending false-god-bashing politcally savvy terror upon all of Thedas. Solas (and all of the living breathing world) is lucky she took time out of her busy schedule to notice the way his smile softens when talking about spirits or appreciate the fluidity of his form when they're obliterating venatori out in the field. This man cradled her cheeks in his shaking hands, looked into weary and wide eyes and called her beautiful, and had the audacity to steal her heart before trying to peace out and take it with him.

If she's got to track down a real god this time and frog march him into the fade to reclaim both her heart and the future she fought for because all he wants to do is launch himself like a meteor towards achieving his greatest fear, if she has to spend hours lecturing him on the sheer audacity of his ass while spirits float by and realize they're grateful they never had the chance to take on a body and subject themselves to a verbal lashing this brutal, if she has to do cartwheels around him while dropping all sorts of sweet nothings in the language she is now quite proficient in until he gets it through his luminous gleaming skull that when she said "var lath vir suledin" my girl meant it? Then that's what she's going to do.

"I wish it could, vhenan."

Oh it's going to, buddy. Buckle up to get wrecked, to get absolutely loved and cherished you fool, because Inquisitor Lavellan is not the Dread Wolf's prey, she's his hunter.

[treatsformeeko]

This dialogue has always baffled me. It is locked behind a 30 cunning check, which I think may be impossible to reach without cheats at this early stage in the game (?) but its implications are INSANE. Entirely too long tirade below the cut:

How could the darkspawn possibly know the plan? Does it have anything to do with darkspawn showing greater signs of intelligence (re: the Architect, the Messenger)? Awakening was being written before DAO came out — was this meant to tie into that?

Many people online have discussed that it may be a remnant of abandoned plot threads that paint loghain as more of a mustache-twirling villain, working with the darkspawn (either willingly or perhaps under their influence?) to make sure the signal fire doesn’t get lit. David Gaider explained at length that the Ostagar plotline and the Cailan/Loghain conflict were subject to numerous rewrites. And while it is true that there is no further dialogue to suggest that Loghain was working with the darkspawn as this dialogue implies, my next question is what were his men doing in the tunnels underneath the Tower of Ishal?

Even before I had seen this exact line, in my first playthrough I operated under the assumption that Loghain had purposefully sabotaged the Tower in order to place blame on the Grey Wardens (an already easy scapegoat given their very recent return from exile) once he inevitably quit the field. I never once thought that his decision to retreat from Ostagar was made in the heat of the moment — after all, why would Howe already be making moves on Highever if he thought that Cailan would be alive after the battle to punish him for it? And if it were the case that Loghain planned for Cailan to die at Ostagar, why would he allow the signal fire to be lit on time and still quit the field knowing that some of his men would see this as betraying the King, regardless of how good he was at being a leader? Was it just a very happy accident that the darkspawn overwhelming the Tower and delaying made him look less villainous to his own army? Why would he leave this up to chance when so much of his plan before this seems to be so carefully crafted?

Frankly speaking, much of the deeper DAO lore seems to be happy accidents — constant rewrites and abandoned plot threads coming together to create a genuinely interesting story where the truth is not easily identified. And honestly, I think it benefited greatly from this! The truth is messy, especially when there are this many players vying for power in some way or another.

Personally, I’m of the mind that dev-lore comes secondary to what actually makes it into the game, even when the devs had better ideas than what we got. Which is why it is so fascinating that this line still exists in game and yet is nearly impossible to obtain! Why does it still exist? Why is it so hard to obtain? What implications does it have on the greater plot?

I don’t necessarily have an interesting conclusion beyond the fact that I am still in awe at the reactivity of this game that is objectively pretty clunky and ugly by today’s standards. I love Loghain as a villain in part because he is so human, and as much as I enjoy the sequels I really think that he is one of the best antagonists of the entire series. I find it really interesting that his reputation is not entirely shredded to pieces by Inquisition, as some Ostagar vets still sing his praises, which just further drives home the point that he has the capacity for good AND evil! I mean hell, the whole game is about making sacrifices for the greater good. Couldn’t you still argue that that was what Loghain was doing (or at least thought he was doing)?

All of this being an entirely too-long wind up to say: fuck you Quartermaster Threnn. I know what I saw.

[gods-favorite-autistic]

If the bad kids played Minecraft

Gorgug: redstone builder my guy loves making rollercoasters and security systems and anything redstone for the others, loves the enchantment table and fights monsters purely for xp, has a little farm of rainbow sheep and flowers, his workshop looks like a flower (Fabian may or may not have made it he just came to the joint world and found it there one day)

Fabian: achievement maniac he must prove that he is the best at the game, loves all the fortresses and like the raids and all of that, fights any monster he sees and brings the spoils back to Adaine for her building, hoards all the gold and diamonds he finds and refuses to share, once killed a piglin on accident and had to give all of his gold to Fig, main person who finds and downloads mods for everyone (he has the nicest computer after all), has a list of which person got one mod after everyone started fighting about who requested a shaders mod that just makes everything look really pretty but also insanely slows everyone’s fps (it was Gorgug he liked how it looked)

Fig: trying to make and collect everything she physically can and if she can’t she will find a way, has about a million mods installed because why not (her personal world is like 4 fps), “rules the nether” (Adaine turned a fortress into a castle for her and she only trades with piglins), has at least one cd playing at any time and tries to start a campaign for one of her songs to become an official cd (it almost works)

Riz: automates everything and anything he can, just does insane experiments for funsies, has a gang of iron golems and a village that he rules with an iron fist (is very offended that fig refuses to trade with his villagers, has waged war on the nether multiple times but Fabian (his “knight”) and Gorgug (Figs “knight”) refuse to fight each other), Kristen is banned because she keeps trying to start a rebellion

Adaine: the builderrr girlie likes her games on peaceful and her structures luxurious, she made a castle for all of her friends in her joint world (even if Fig and Riz usually sleep in their kingdoms), does not know how to fight in the slightest so she just enlists Fabian and Gorgug (Riz makes her pay to enlist Fabian in tnt no Adaine he is not making another nuke what are you talking about), genuinely a good archer but freaks out anytime she sees a monster and becomes instantly useless so she mainly uses it for hunting purposes

Kristen: loves mining, also has a million pets like if she can find a way to make it a pet she will (she once tamed a polar bear nobody knows how), her room in Adaine’s castle is in the basement with little mining carts that Gorgug made her that go throughout basically their whole world, runs as fast as she can away from any Warden chamber (she cannot fight), has an army of snowmen in a cage, technically has a fee for being the blacksmith of the group but forgets every time, has a White House built somewhere in the world after the school election

Bonus!

Ayda: Crafts books so she can write in them, lives in Figs castle in another room than Fig (for the drama, according to Fig)(“the fans will love it!” “My love who are you talking about nobody is watching us” “excuse you my tumble audience is very much enjoying our live-blogged tragic love” “my paramour we are literal blocks”), rotates between living there and living in the tallest tower in Adaine’s castle, is fascinated by Gorgugs inventions

Ragh: Fighter, insists on only using his bare fists, drinks any potion he finds, is the only person willing to go on raids with Fabian and Gorgug, figured out a way to play bloodrush in game, loves elytra’s, lives in a dirt hut that is big enough for him to stand in next to a bed and nothing else, Adaine built him a room (that looks like a gym) in her castle but he prefers dirt hut

Aelwyn: Only on there for the cats, steals Kristen’s cats any chance she gets, surprisingly really good at fighting but refuses to fight unless absolutely necessary, has one mod on for herself and it’s the shapeshifting mod (no clue if that’s a mod or part of a game mode) so she can prank Adaine anytime she wants, loves making tnt even if she doesn’t use it (“the goblin uses it in funny ways” “Aelwyn he is exploding a village” “like I said funny”), fucking hates goats and polar bears for no reason

[vigilskept]

👀👀👀about the meredith taking cullen's place in DAI

listen............ i stand by the fact that cullen rutherford whose highest rank in the templar order has been as second to meredith is by NO means qualified to be commander of an army.

that's literally never been his job!! and the fact that he's cold turkey quitting lyrium before he even starts on the job............. cassandra you are insane. what the fuck. the other day @ikarons and i went down a rabbit hole yes and-ing each other about a worldstate where u could throw warden loghain into the job in his stead and like.... despite the political clusterfuck that would inevitably result (he's going to invade orlais. u can't prevent this.) he's STILL more qualified for that job.

but anyway. all that is beside the point. my reasoning for throwing meredith in the position is less about qualification (still more command experience than cullen even if it's civil command rather than military tbf) and more about the fact that cullen's entire arc boils down to "i should have seen something was wrong with meredith sooner :("

i've sketched out some rough thoughts on how i'd adapt his arc for thea trevelyan's worldstate (& you can do something interesting if you lean into the solythal/andrastian insanity of it all) but honestly the whole exercise just made me think "wow. wouldn't it be crazy if we put the person actually in command in the hot seat instead?"

and it is immediately so much more compelling.

she Really Did All That. red lyrium-whatever. she'd own all of it, the red lyrium didn't do much other than deepen the paranoia that was already there. she turned kirkwall into a tinderbox to keep the city safe and it achieved nothing but set the city on fire. she by no means trusts mages more after the fact, but it doesn't change the fact that she was plainly unfit for command at the end of it all. she has to reckon with all of that in real time while being put in a situation that is arguably just as bad a pressure cooker as kirkwall was at the end.

why might cassandra recruit her then?

well how does it look for the chantry if the knight-commander of kirkwall is dishonourably discharged from the order? it's a disgrace. they might as well fly a white flag and let the mages state their own terms for peace. they'd have no means of restoring the circles again after that. it would be surrender. however much of a "reformer" justinia may be, she was by no means prepared for that outcome. she sends leliana to kirkwall to threaten a damn exalted march on the city to prevent that outcome!

now a "repentant" former knight-commander meredith who has submitted to the authority of the chantry once more........ that has more promise, politically speaking.

how you'd spin it to the templars and mages would depend obviously. for the templars, you'd want them to see it as them more closely aligning with their order. for the mages, you'd want to convince them that it's a sign of the chantry's collective repentance for the "excesses" of the circle that meredith has been moved out of her old command while she & the chantry seek a new path forward. at the same time, it is a warning that they could just as easily choose to return to a far harsher order than they're prepared for, should the mages fail to choose compromise.

[rosegoldenatlas]

mom said its my turn to make a life series bingo card

Here is the full list of squares if you want to make a custom card for yourself (feel free to use any of the images above to play along)

the free space is called FIRST DEATH (FREE SPACE)

Monopoly

diamond sword alliance

wolf army

5AM Pearl

TNT minecarts

boogeyman

Joel tries to kill Scott

trap backfires

maniacal laugh

Scar does something risky

arson

dying to mob

death to fall damage

watcher lore

new skins

villagers

stealing the enchanter

callback to past season

acronym team name

Scar scams

Triple kill

wither or warden

someone can’t make it to a session

failed MLG

cult

‘family friendly YouTuber ‘ moment

Canary curse returns

Wordplay joke

Embarrassing death

Cleo says something hardcore

Gaslight Gatekeeper or Girlboss

Joel goes red first

Joel highest kill count

Shirtless Scar

Pet death

Joel/Bdubs rivalry

Someone goes insane

Fishing rod kill

Joel just wants his wife

‘Washed up’ mention

From green to red in one session

‘SCAR NO’

Someone goes past world border

Someone gets way too attached to a pet

Someone’s pet is stolen or killed

JOEL WINS? (I’m manifesting shut up)

Traitor/betrayal

Boat boys mention

Minigame

Joel v Scott

[lucaanis]

Summary: After discovering the destruction left in the gods' wake at D'meta's Crossing, Lleyth collects their thoughts and ponders the team's next steps.

Warnings: Descriptions of canon-typical body horror.

codex series / part one / [part two] / part three

Right. Things have gone from bad to worse. Why would I expect any different?

The big mirror downstairs— the Eluvian (Solas called it the Vir'Revas, the "freedom of ways") took us back to Arlathan. I'm not sure I'm entirely cut out for the whole inter-dimensional travel thing, it makes my skull itch and my stomach feel weird, but I suppose it's leagues better than travel by boat, so I can't really complain. We ran into some of Varric's and Harding's old acquaintances on the other side: The Veil Jumpers.

I'm not familiar with them personally, but one of them, Bellara, has come back to the Lighthouse with us.

Good. Neve is brilliant, but Lace and I are all but useless when it comes to magic, and we need an expert on ancient elven magic in particular, which she is. And she explains things! Which I appreciate.

I won't presume to know the specifics of any complex magical theory. I'm no mage, but I'm also not a complete dunce, and mages aren't the only ones capable of using and studying magic. There are some things I've familiarized myself with in my alchemical training over the years; How to properly utilize runes and other magical essences to synthesize powerful spells. Still, it helps to have someone explain how things work and what they do instead of just asking me to "just trust them" or insist they "know what they're doing" for once. (Maybe you know what you're doing, but I don't! That's why I'm anxious!) And as limited as my understanding of ancient elven artifacts that predate my life by at least a thousand years may be, I find myself curious nonetheless, and Bellara has been very receptive to my questions.

She will be an excellent addition to the team… assuming we don't all get ourselves killed.

One thing is certain; The echoes of Solas's ritual have left ripples throughout Arlathan, and likely most of northern Thedas. These ripples have completely fucked up the forest in ways I can't even begin to wrap my head around, and from the sound of it, the Jumpers can't make heads or tails of it either. What we do know is that the entire region is magically unstable and, at times, completely nonsensical. Pockets in the Fade appearing out of nowhere and swallowing people whole, ancient artifacts going haywire, experienced Veil Jumpers going missing— presumed dead, or worse.

More innocent blood on my hands. A lot of that going around these days. But dare I ask, what was the alternative? Let Solas carry out his insane plan to sunder the Veil, destroying the world as we know it? The death toll alone would have been catastrophic. I knew what the stakes were, should he be allowed to succeed. We all did.

But sangre del Hacedor— after what happened to D'meta's Crossing… I am yet to tell whether I've helped save this world or simply doomed it to a fate worse than I've yet to fully comprehend.

The Blight in south never reached Antiva, and I was too young to fully understand it at the time, but you hear things; The words of refugees and ship captains who ran trade routes through Amaranthine. Enough to sate the vivid imagination of a fledgling Crow who had only ever heard stories of darkspawn armies marching from the Deep Roads to the wingbeats of an Archdemon.

Never in my life had I thought it would be anything like this.

The stench of darkspawn struggles to leave my mind. There's a reason why they should stay in the fucking Deep Roads where they belong. I've encountered their ilk before, but only stragglers. Nasty fucking things. They die like anything else in this world, but nothing prepares you for the ferocity— and the wrongness of them. (Why anyone would willingly join the Grey Wardens to hunt such creatures is beyond me.)

But this? A whole village gone overnight in complete silence, consumed by the Blight? No, worse than Blight. This particular Blight is wrong. I'm almost at a loss for words to describe it.

It's vile; It pulsates and writhes like it's alive, and it beckons— dark whispers tugging at my ears like madness. It hungers. Corpses twisted up in its roots like it had consumed them while they were still alive, feeding off of blood and bone marrow seeping into the earth. Others were left to rot with limbs mangled and skulls crushed against the doors of their homes, thinking the thin sheet of wood could protect them from the Blight. Poor bastards.

I can feel its malice, even now. Like hate and hunger that seeks only to destroy and corrupt everything in its path. It's like it warps the very Veil surrounding it, tearing it with its teeth. I don't know if the others can feel it as I do. I don't know if I want to know the answer.

It's a nightmare, is what it is— only I haven't woken up yet.

The only survivors we could find were blighted out of their minds, enslaved. Too far gone. If this is just a small taste of what the gods are capable of, how can we fight against it? How do we stop them before they do it again, and at a larger scale? How long do we have to plan countermeasures until an entire city is razed by this living nightmare?

The nightmare I helped release.

Some good news; We were able to recover the dagger Solas used in his ritual. One less weapon of mass destruction in the gods' arsenal. But Lace grabbed it before I could, and it changed something within her. And… I guess she has magic, now? Making her the first dwarf in history to wield magic, probably ever? I'm almost as baffled as she is, but she's taking it in stride. Of course she is. She's Lace-fucking-Harding. I'm afraid I'm of little use in this matter, but I'll do my best to help with what I can with what limited resources I can find. Whatever it is she's going through, she's not going through it alone.

Still, I've taken possession of the dagger for now— we don't yet know what it's capable of. I do know that it's made of raw lyrium, and that I've watched it hurt Varric and do… something to Lace, and rip open the Veil. And the gods were looking for it. That means it's dangerous. If anyone is going to carry the risk of exposure to its elements, whatever they may be, it should be me, and I'll sleep better for it— knowing where it is.

Up close, it's an odd thing. My fingers buzz as they brush the hilt. I can feel the energy resonating. I'd almost say it tickles, if the sensation weren't so unpleasant.

Another thing— my headache has gotten worse. Lucky me. I can't tell if it started throbbing before or after we got the dagger. So much has happened in the past few days that the tiny details seem to blur together. It's not constant, at least. It comes and it goes. At times I feel like my skull is about to implode, and at others it's more of a dull ache. Negligible, but annoying.

It's possible that my blood being anchored to the magic used at the ritual could be causing me to have some kind of reaction to the dagger. Maybe it's a stretch, but it's a running theory of mine. Everyone has enough to worry about without me moaning in their ears about my head hurting, so I haven't told the others.

It's been a long couple of days. Hopefully it will clear up with proper rest. I'll worry about it later.

I spoke to Solas again. Fen'Harel. The Dread Wolf. Whatever. Culero. (He doesn't look very "wolfy" to me, I'll say that much.) As per our last meeting, I found his "advice" to be trifling and his demeanor grating. My desire to skip stones across his inflated head aside, we need his help— but to what end, I wonder? For now, we are joined in a mutual goal: Stop Ghilan'nain and Elgar'nan. A coalition born of necessity, nothing more. I don't trust him.

Varric trusted him, and look where that got him. I won't make the same mistake.

Varric is… well, he's awake and he's talking, at least, though he still needs plenty of rest. It's too soon for him to be back on his feet, yet I feel bad leaving him alone in the Lighthouse. What happens to him if we don't make it back? I've done what I can to keep him comfortable, but without my alchemy kit…

Though, I may soon have the chance to reclaim it, because Neve thinks we should go to the Crows for help. Of all the fucking… [scribbled out, illegible]

That's going to go over like an iron-fucking-balloon. My heart aches to see Treviso again, but not like this! Not limping back home after a botched contract and explaining to the Talons that I might have started another Blight. The Blight to end all Blights…

So much for setting things right. This contract was supposed to be my ticket back into the Crow's good graces, but it might as well have been my death warrant. Can anything be easy? Must everything we do require me to bend over a table and fuck myself sideways?

Don't get me wrong, Neve has the right idea about getting a specialist on taking down powerful mages for the team, but the Demon of Vyrantium? House Dellamorte? Shit. My own… experiences with Dellamortes aside, I'm like, 90% sure the poor bastard's dead. Venatori caught up with him, if I remember correctly. I should know, Viago dragged me to his wake. I never knew him personally, of course, but Crow politics are delicate. When the First Talon's grandson is declared K.I.A., you make appearances— shake hands, offer condolences, and don't drink the wine. Maker, I hate funerals.

So unless the Crows have taken up necromancy to frighten the Antaam while I've been gone (Funeral a hoax? Wouldn't put it past the Talons to arrange something like that to confuse our enemies), arranging a meeting with the Talons is probably going to give us more problems than answers.

But… we're short on allies. If there's a chance, however small, that the Crows suddenly give two fucks to rub together about the fate of Antiva and what happens outside our borders, we have to take it. Begrudgingly. And preferably with as much tequila as we can carry back here for later— I'm going to need it.

Neve wore me down. I'll send word to Teia. The only Talon that I'm mostly sure doesn't hate me still. Though I haven't exactly been… timely about responding to any of her letters. Or responding at all, for that matter. (It wasn't personal, it's just… difficult to hear about home, sometimes.) So that might have changed.

I'm sure she will be first in line to rip me a new one regardless.

For now, we have other leads to follow— Neve wants to introduce me to some of her friends in Minrathous. I say we start there, make sure the city is still holding together somewhat after the ritual, continue assessing the damage. Maybe I'll get lucky and we'll find someone there and we won't need the help of the Crows after all!

Other things to consider: We're going to have to make a run for supplies soon. We need food, water, and something to sleep on besides the cots in the infirmary. The room I'm currently in has an ugly sofa, which I guess is an upgrade, but it's no proper bed. This room gives me the creeps anyway. Who the fuck wants to sleep in front of a massive glowing aquarium? With all of those giant creepy Fade-fish staring back at you? How is this relaxing?

NO! I draw the line. Hopefully there are other rooms in this place that have yet to make themselves known to me, because I'm not getting any sleep like this.

What I wouldn't give to be back home getting a massage and my hair washed in a bathhouse in Antiva City right now. The one with the lavender salt soaks with bergamot oil and rose petals, complimentary mulled wine and ripened cheese with bresaola and orange fig spread...

Ugh! The thought of it is enough to bring tears to my eyes! I must dwell on this no longer.

Varric thinks the team needs me. I think maybe he hit his head harder than we thought. I know he wanted me as his second in command, but this? Leading everyone against these odds? There's a reason why I was better in the Crows as a solo act— it's easier to make the decisions when I'm only responsible for my own life.

Whatever it was that Varric saw— sees in me, I can only hope I live up to it somehow.

Bellara's working on getting the Vir'Revas to connect to other Eluvians so we can plan our next move. I'm going to stay up for a while, I think. Keep watch while the others rest. I wouldn't mind exploring more of the Lighthouse, anyway. This room with the creepy fish wasn't here before. What other rooms could this place hold that we haven't discovered yet, or more likely, haven't yet made themselves known to us?

(Note: If this journal ends here, it's safe to assume I've misstepped and fallen into the void. It's going to take a while to get used to the whole floating-in-the-Fade bit.)

— R.

[eclipseohno]

i'm gonna say it:

ugly sonic is better than the minecraft movie

i cannot stress enough how fucking angry the trailers make me. the only enjoyment i get from watching them is gawking at how insanely awful the whole thing is. it's uncanny, it's gross, it feel disrespectful to the entire spirit of what minecraft is supposed to be. "flint and steel" was the only thing that got a laugh out of me, not because it was genuinely funny, but more of like a "what the fuck lmao" type of moment.

every trailer has chipped away my already incredibly low faith more and more, to the point that i'm actually offended that they're pushing out into theaters.

ugly sonic may have put me into disbelief, but everything related to the minecraft movie has upset me so much. like. it's not hard to make a good movie for minecraft. even parkour civilization, as overstimulating and cheesy and ridiculous as it is, is so much better. because it embraces how cheesy it is and does it well enough. and i've yet to watch the whole thing because, as i've said, i find it slightly overstimulating. and there are so many series and videos and genuine works of art related to minecraft already out there and it baffles me that a multi BILLION dollar game has a movie that looks this bad.

hermitcraft, life series, stampy's lovely world, white pine, parkour civ, the librarian's from the fog, artimator, 100 days challenges, horror mod series, garfilled, zeemyth, horror args from andrewgaming to the one with the noodle moon anomalies to oldroot, mcc, the fallen kingdoms saga, fucking mincraft story mode. all of these and more embody the actual nature of mincraft so much better because even if modded or altered it's still minecraft. it still has that minecraft vibe that none of the trailers have been able to provide. i can't tell you what exactly the vibe is, but it's there. the movie just feels like those shitty clickbait videos that prey on children for views and money. there's none of the heart, the serenity, the feeling of possibility and beauty that this 15 year old game about building blocks has given so many people.

this game means so much to me. and this movie clearly doesn't care about anyone but the most impressionable, gullible of children. this movie isn't minecraft. it doesnt even look anything like the game.

minecraft is about surviving. struggling. spawning into a world for the first time and being scared of creepers and skeletons. it's running from ghasts, raiding mineshafts, building bigger and better houses. getting spooked by cave noises, swearing up and down to your friends that no, herobrine is real, i saw him and he killed my dog. spawning the wither for the first time, failing to kill it, and running away from everything you had ever known to escape it. discovering the world borders, building an army of dogs, sneaking the tablet late at night to follow a build tutorial. creating a world just to blow it up and cover it with lava. build a hotel out of colorful wool. typeing "deez nuts" into the seed generator to see what happens. typing your name to see what happens. running from the warden, fighting the warden, flying with an elytra for the first time, getting swarmed by phantoms because you've been sucked into a project for several hours. sitting in your room while it rains outside, panicking with your friends because your all backed into a cave, running out of torches and food while mobs close in on all sides. those 2 week long hyperfixation sessions. learning better build techniques. trying out mods for the first time, playing on public servers.

that's minecraft. not... whatever the movie has going on. like i don't even like piglins that much and i feel bad for them getting the short end of the stick in the movie like that.

and don't even get me started on the villagers. dear god.

at least they cared enough to fix sonic. minecraft couldn't give less of a fuck, and it shows.

[skyheld]

*deep breath*

@katabasiiis listen, first of all i don't think it can be overstated how devastating the first blight was. we see some of its potential in origins, and i think the prologue of II gives an even better sense of the absolute destruction a darkspawn horde can cause when you're fleeing lothering and absolutely everything is ruined, but this is when people know what darkspawn are and have an idea of how to deal with them. in the ancient age, one day you've got monsters coming out of the ground killing everything they see, and sometimes when you kill them you turn into a different kind of monster and start attacking others too, and sometimes you turn into that without even getting that close to them, and no one knows why or how or where they're from or what drives them or what their goal is. i wouldn't be surprised if some thaigs fall before anyone has even set up a decent defense. it's ninety years before the grey wardens are formed.

and then, consider how in a single year the darkspawn are able to come out of the korcari wilds and reach redcliffe and then denerim, on two sides of ferelden, and how they very nearly crush the entire nation if not for the warden. i do think they may be moving quicker and with more focus because they already have their archdemon. they kind of have to, because thedas doesn't have two hundred fereldens and two hundred years is how long the first blight lasts. it's just... such an insane amount of time. especially considering the darkspawn leave behind that's destroyed to the point nothing can grow sometimes forever if it's bad enough. so even if the horde isn't everywhere all at once but rather is moving around, people can't just move back to their burned villages and trampled fields afterwards, they can't use that land anymore. no one expects this, no one knows if it's forever.

again.... two hundred years is an insane time for this. everything that's done in tevinter and the dwarven empire/orzammar has to be done to defeat the blight, there's no room for anything else. art forms would be lost because a whole generations of practitioners didn't have access to the materials they needed and weren't able to pass the knowledge on to the next generation, which wouldn't have had those materials either. museums and archives are destroyed not by darkspawn directly but because no one had the resources to maintain them and everything molded. we lost every engineer who knew how to build and repair this particular type of aqueduct so now there's just no one who can and they'll just slowly fall into disrepair. this animal went extinct simply because it only lived in this one area and the taint ensured there was no food left there.

when it's over, there's no one alive who's even met someone who saw the world before the blight. there's probably people who met someone who saw their part of the world before the blight, and there may still be places (aside from seheron and par vollen) which weren't affected at all... though to be honest, unless the darkspawn heavily focused on tevinter, i kind of doubt there were any major areas that didn't see any activity at all? but really, no one even knows how much they lost. orzammar might have the closest estimate due to the shaperate, but that's assuming the orzammar shaperate contains the combined memories of all the thaigs and not primarily from orzammar. either way, the silent plains have become uninhabitable and there should be vast spaces of land that will be uninhabitable for some time even though i don't think there's any other areas left over from the first blight in the divine age, most of the dwarven empire is gone and its people dead, a third of the human armies are said to have died in the final battle against dumat (and this is a third of the armies left after two hundred years of blight, numbers must have dropped dramatically since it began), the population and its resources are decimated. even ignoring the fact that a lot of land is unusable, there isn't enough people to rebuild everything, and there's the loss of knowledge. this area was only useful for farming due to its irrigation system, which we now can't repair=we can't use it now.

this is the post-apocalyptic world of late ancient era thedas. the land is sick, tainted animals roam so there are likely outbreaks of blight sickness here and there until the last ones die out. a main system of travel and communication is completely lost. tevinter has abandoned all of its outposts and with them withdrawn most of their advanced technology and magic. roads to outer regions haven't been maintained so travel is slow and difficult. cities have fallen into ruin. trade has slowed because no one has an abundance of much, and any longer established trade routes were likely stopped because the only semi-safe way to travel was with an army. andraste looks at the dying tevinter empire and decides (justifiably) that what this world needs is some more war.

need is the mother invention and the people left after the blight do what they can to rebuild (in between a bunch of petty wars, we still gotta have those). but building up any sort of momentum is a slow process in and of itself. starting up trade routes, gathering resources for building and maintaining, filling granaries. it really is no wonder that by the beginning of the divine age most of the world (probably especially in former tevinter territories that were abandoned during the blight, like modern nevarra, orlais, the free marches and to a degree ferelden, but i imagine antiva, rivain and tevinter itself see a similar development too) are many steps back in terms of technological advancement. no one has time to try to recreate tevinter, they're just trying to get by. small wooden halls replace grand stone mansion because no one has the expertise or the time or the money or the materials to build the latter, and they just need somewhere to rule from.

this is why the divine age is called the divine age—things were finally looking up. they'd made it through the end of the world that was the blight, they'd embraced the maker, drakon was uniting the petty ciriane kingdoms into something that would (definitely absolutely) be an empire of peace and prosperity, and the maker had promised him to come back and rebuild the world if he just spread the chant some more. it's also why i don't think he intended the divine age to only last a hundred years and a new name to be picked for every coming century. the divine age was meant to be an age, it would last forever.

the second blight starting just five years after it was named was...i'm not saying drakon was a good person before that (he'd already made himself emperor over a lot of conquered land) but i would be surprised if it didn't change him.

[mama-frog]

Session 7 Brainrot

I have so much to say about what happened this session so I'm gonna categorize this by person.

Gem: I find it incredibly interesting that she was the person given this task. A) Because she is the one the only Geminislay, B) Because she is like fresh meat to the watchers, C) Because of the infection she is already going through. The darkness spreading across her body probably made her more susceptible to the curse at first than anyone else on the server. She's such a strong player overall and the fact that she had a whole army behind her is terrifying.

Grian: The fact that he didn't get caught by the zombies says a lot about him. He's very good at running and hiding (especially from watcher stuff). I also want to point out WHERE he hid in the end of the session. The pesky bird went into a comfort nest. Definitely unintentional but definitely fun to think about.

Scott: Scott and Gem are, in my opinion, some of the smartest people on the server, so the fact that he didn't get caught doesn't surprise me and surprises me at the same time. Everytime Scott got boogey in a previous death game he did it in a way that was unsatisfactory for the watchers (Not actually killing and killing as soon as possible so the others weren't brewing up a pot of tasty negative emotions). He felt betrayed when Gem finally started to go after him (Even though she didn't go completely nuts until she turned red) and he has such a strong sense of loyalty to his allies. There's also some juxtaposition of him hiding underground while Grian hid in the air.

Martyn: Even though it was on a technicality, I think it's interesting that he was the only one not allowed to be infected. It's as if the watchers know that his chaos is secured and are trying to get the others in line with what they want to see. Also, he's just so damn good at being a red name, I feel like he's the only person to do it correctly in this series. I also feel like he was cheated out of his revenge plot on everyone else on the server because of the curse which might've been intentional on the Watcher's end.

Cleo: She is an icon and she IS the moment. I just love the irony of her being a zombie and not getting infected by the curse. I feel like her closeness to players like Martyn and Scott helped her in her ability to avoid the curse for so long. She's very smart with her allies this season.

Pearl: I'm terrified of how quick Pearl is to go insane when given the chance. Especially when it comes to her dogs. Tilly is always in her heart. This woman was YELLOW and decided on her own to bring up a warden when there already was one. And her gear is so well enchanted. She has learned a lot from previous seasons but she has also lost a bit of her sanity (Especially from double life). What a woman.

Joel: I don't know why he thought spawning 64 zombies so close to him and not on the others was a good idea, but man was it good comedy. Once he became a boogey he played really well though. He's so perfectly unhinged and after Lizzie dying he has very good reason to go insane on everyone else (The spine bit was cruel and unusual punishment). Underrated POV in my opinion.

Scar: Unhinged

Etho: Ok this part hinges on my theory that endermen are creatures created by the Watchers to interfere with the games. I fully believe that the watchers hated Etho being green so badly that they personally interfered to take him to yellow. The betrayal of your own tool killing you is a tasty snack for the watchers to enjoy. (Definitely not just Etho being washed up). Also the way he is so incredibly loyal to his team members even after being cursed. He's just a stand up guy.

Impulse: I just love the way him and Gem interact. He's like a proud dad whenever she does anything. That's it.

BDubs: I cackled when he got killed by a zombie again. Gem is hilarious for that. He did about as good as I expected under the curse. I do love all his interactions with Etho more than anything else. Those two are such unofficial soulmates (in a non-ship way).

Skizz: A true light on the server. All the better for the Watchers when he gets corrupted by the curse. He deserved to be mean after the heart got burned down.

Tango: This man's rage is so interesting. The way that it gets triggered most when people mess with his base is something I think could be explored (the ranch in double life, the ties base in limited life, and now the heart foundation).

Overall I have a lot of emotions about this last session

[gaymingbinosaur]

Letters

Just posting the first two letters because, dear god. It doesn't want to get done and I feel like I'm going insane with rewriting. So, proof I have been writing. I usually write short one shots. Like one was almost a drabble short. I don't remeber if it was like 98 words or 102. So weird for me

Dear Nichole,

I suspect you have questions. I just want to say I didn’t lie about joining the Lords of Fortune, okay. It was caused by some political issues I caused, and Varric offered me a new adventure. To punch Solas in the face. I couldn’t say no to that. I hate the man.

And no, my opinion of him has not improved. The asshole is in my head Nikki. My fucking head. Trying to pass the blame to me. Because he’s a bitch. A fucking bitch. I get he was your art buddy but he’s such an arrogant bastard Nichole. And yes, I know there’s good in him and blah, blah,blah. Good intentions, thinks he’s doing right but I still hate him.

But I’m safe Nichole. You don’t need to worry. I got a team that I’m in charge of, because for some reason that was agreed to be a good idea. But they are good people. Like we have a crow, a Tevinter detective, Harding who can do magic now. I don’t really understand how she touched a dagger and now she’s magic. We also have a Veil Jumper who reminds me so much of you it hurts, a gray warden, a dragon hunter who's also a Lord and a necromancer.

The necromancer is from Nevarra but don’t worry we get along. I just hate Cassandra, the rest of Nevarra is fine. Like are we going to compare Ostwick to our dad? No, we turned out fine. Well, you turned out okay.

This necromancer, according to Bellarra (our Veiljumper), is apparently a very respected mage. And he’s super nice, like he isn’t going to kill us all and make us his undead army. So, don’t you worry. He probably knows things about magic I could only dream of knowing. Could you imagine Ostwick Circle teaching me anything beyond how we are nothing but future abominations. Perish the thought. As far as I am concerned he probably should view me as nothing but an idiot. He hasn’t yet because he’s so sweet, he seems more interested in stories about The Lords. I guess it makes sense, I mean I joined because I wanted to see the world and wasn’t going to wait for Divine Victoria to change her mind about circles.

Love Evie

Dear Evie, I must admit I was surprised to find that Evelyn Laidir aka Rook, Harding and Varric kept mentioning in their letters was my sister. So, I have a few questions. First one being, why didn’t anyone tell me? Seriously neither Harding nor Varric snitched on you.

Second question being, I would like to know more of your team. Harding told me your assassin is possessed by a demon, and a Tevinter ice mage? Like should I be concerned about the Tevinter mage? I’d like some more details in general because all I got is you want to bone the necromancer. (Thom’s joke). Evie don’t deny it, everyone got a sentence. You were gushing about the necromancer. Also, while I’d like to know more about your opinions on your team (especially Emmrich), Harding gave me enough to know they can be trusted. Also Maker’s Breath, between the two of you. Like I wasn’t this bad with Rainer? Was I?

Love your exhausted sister, Nichole Laidir

[dougielombax]

Thinking about a hypothetical Cortana-focused Epitaph novel again.

I’ve got so many insane ideas for it.

I’ll list them:

Cortana falling into the Domain at breakneck speed at the start, reliving flashes of her life one after another. Before falling into an ocean of compressed quantum data.

Governor Sloan trying to get into the Domain, forming an army composed of Armigers and Warden bodies under his control.

Cortana reliving her rampancy, her deaths and her torment by the Gravemind. Among many other moments.

That’s just a few I have for now.

[sapphim]

found out that some companions, like wynne, will leave your party if they don't like you enough, which is absolutely insane, in my opinion. a pair of young wardens up against a world-ending blight, in need of all the help they can get, and people like wynne will just tell them point blank that they won't help the wardens save the world because they don't like them enough. at least the inquisitor has a large army and spy network, but the warden has virtually nothing for most of the game. :o

are... you assuming that you'll drive wynne's approval all the way down to a crisis point by getting into a handful of arguments about the merits of the circle? without also like going out of your way to insult her or by doing nasty shit like sacrificing innocents? this isn't a walk in the park, your companions are fighting and dying for you and they quite genuinely don't have to do that. they can go fight and die anywhere else if you're going to be a raging dickhead about it.

I've been extremely consistent in expressing that I think one of the best parts about origins is that you can choose to fight nearly all of your companions and they can, in return, tell you to go piss up a rope and handle the fucking archdemon yourself.

skill issue. you're not owed a personal army. you are, as you said, just some chump with nothing to your name. so stop pissing off the people fighting and dying for you or face the totally predictable consequences of your actions.

[phightinghottakes]

And continuing on, because I'm honestly just realizing this, WHY is there SO MUCH about Medkit. Because look at all the shit he's involved in. I can bet if PHIGHTING was a show or some shit Medkit's crap is a whole ass season.

So I'll say this, if Medkit's entire Thing is allowed to be a season, THEN GIVE OTHER PHIGHTERS A SEASON OF THEIR OWN.

Because what the hell, look at Ban! Isn't he supposed to be The Warden of Banland???? Isn't there supposed to be more to his rep than just him being insanely rude and putting people in prison-happy??? Like what kinda bull crap has he done to gain that sort of reputation??? Yeah sure he's a demigod and Windforce's son too but COME ON. W H A T E L S E ?

And let's not get started on Blackrock. BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK DID YOU START THE WHOLE MEDKIT STUFF AND THEN JUST DROP THE ENTIRE THING. JEZEEZ. IT COULD BE SO DAMN COOL BUT NO INSTEAD HAVE A CULT.

AND! Scythe. Oh-ho, What The Fuck. Make her have something that ISN'T JUST about the damn cult. Maybe she DOES dedicate her entire self to it but still. Make it be something that was about the cult at first but then turns into something else, make it be something that was something else but was then turned into a cult thing. She NEEDS more to her character AND lore. Hot woman in a cult won't cut it, especially for those that Could Give Less Of A Fuck. The people who will truly appreciate the lore needs lore that will be appreciated.

I could say SO MUCH about the other characters, but these are currently what most people are talking about so. ¯\_(:/)_/¯

(Get socked by a boomerang, bitches.)

- 🪃 anon

I am so mad that they’ve sidelined Blackrock in favor of a stupid cult.

Blackrock is so cool to me. It’s like if you took the Octo Army from Splatoon but didn’t have them all stuffed underground and also they did horrible horrendous things instead of making really good music.

[wittyrogue]

@valorcorrupt: What choice the Warden can make does Zevran most heavily disapprove of? random character questions are always good

i'm actually gonna answer this in lieu of doing a bingo card because what zevran's sexual attraction and actual morals are two separate things that would kind of result in two completely different bingo cards and i'm too tired for that.

zevran's biggest sticking point, the thing he's most likely to pick a fight over or even potentially leave over, is punching down. it's kicking people already at the mercy of others, it's hurting the little guy, it's attacking the defenseless.

the best example i have is when the warden tries to annul the circle during da:o. i don't have a video of it, so you'll just have to read the following, but he goes on, longer than any companion, in voicing opposition to the warden's choice to annul the circle.

Zevran: I am hardly the person to lecture on the worthier points of human nature, but surely this is a fine time to display the oft-lauded virtue known as mercy? I deserved to die, and you spared me. Why are you so quick to condemn these mages? Warden: You’re a lot better-looking than most of the mages. Zevran: Why, thank you. Flattery would normally distract me, but not today. Inconvenient, no? Warden: You’re saying I made a mistake sparing you? Zevran: (Nervous laughter) Perhaps. But you did it nevertheless, no? Warden: Magic and knives are different. Zevran: Magic can kill. Knives can kill. Even small children launched at great speed could kill. Why single out the wielders of one and not the others? Warden: Mages can do more damage with one spell than you ever could. Zevran: Mm. Touché. I’ve taken the lives of many throughout my career, but this is no measured act. There is no chase, no hunt, no dignity in this… there is only slaughter. Warden: What about the people they might slaughter? Zevran: Might, not will. Committing genocide just because something might happen is more than the mark of a weak mind. It is insanity. Warden: Zevran, you’re a hypocrite. Zevran: Perhaps I am at that, and a thief and a murderer as well. But I looked my victims in the face.

he doesn't want to kill the mages. he knows, far too well, what it's like to have to do horrible things to survive when locked in a cage. he relates so hard to them, and is trying to stand up to a warden who literally just threatened to kill him.

killing and slaughtering your way through the armies against you? fine. being absolutely ruthless with those who stand against you? absolutely understandable. wanton death and destruction? hold up. check yourself. because at the end of the day, he's been in that situation--he's been powerless and trapped and at the mercy of others and wanted to be shown mercy. and wasn't. and he's gonna stick his neck out for anyone in that situation when he comes across it and feels he has the power to help. the warden spared him for some reason, and he doesn't know why, but he sees himself in these mages, so surely if he just points it out, it'll change the warden's mind.

if it does, then all's forgiven.

if it doesn't... well, he's promised to stop the blight and he wants to be a man of his word.

this plays out again with the dalish in nature of the beast and during the quest unrest in the alienage (unfortunately i don't have the dialogue for these off hand). specifically for nature of the beast, he's happy to have the lady of the forest and zarathian talk to each other. any outcomes after that are fine... except if you march on the dalish, in which he begs for you not to.

i think by the time the warden gets to unrest in the alienage, if the elves that are captured are sold into slavery and the slaver remains alive, oaths or no, crows hunting him or no, zevran's out. and yes, that's a long time to hold on, but truly, zevran can tolerate a lot. he knows how to keep his head down to survive. but is survival worth it if he has to ally himself with a monster to do so?

so now, back to the bingo: zevran finds beauty in a lot of things. he's pansexual, with a high libido, and in general is happy with casual sex wherever it occurs. it's fun, it's stress relief, he'd pretty much sleep with anyone, though whether he likes himself in the morning may be a question, depending on the person. but to get to his heart, he has a strong sense of protection for the weak and compassion for those who can't protect themselves. he wants to seen that shown to others. he wants that same care and compassion shown to him, and interest in him beyond what skills he brings to the table or the bed. he hasn't been treated like a person much in his life, and he treasures those few people who treat him kindly. and though he's terrified of it, he longs for the emotional intimacy he almost had in the past, and he needs someone to tell him he's worth it.

[thethirdvoerman]

on my replay of origins i went so insane over both my warden surana and loghain and the complicated dynamics of idolisation and loss of humanity that i started writing fanfiction

so uh

wars of this land are all fought by children

Summary: Loghain Mac Tir is spared at the Landsmeet and has to undergo the Joining, though he hardly considers it mercy. As he starts traveling with Warden Vitae Surana, he is forced to confront that the woman at the head of this army is painfully human, as all people are.

Word count: 1667

[kiivg]

ok this is research anon. might i ask you(if you are thinking of rewriting. Which I hope you do but not pressure obv):

1. will moira's sword come into play? if alistair knows that it was gaspard that returned the Rebel Queen's sword perhaps they might use it as a symbol to pacify the nobles?

2. in the end do you think gaspard's gambit for the throne could succeed?

3. how do events of inquisition influence what is happening? sorry if i missed something but this is happening after it yeah?

4. YOUR WARDEN. I AM CURIOUS. PLEASE TELL.

.Reaearch Anon I do love you for this 💕 I’m very tempted to write something because it’s like…. Nobody else is going to lbh….. 😔.

.OH this is a bit long, have a read more 💋.

.1. I didn’t know that happened tbh, where is this info???? I love this?? Gaspard my Liege, my Lord, my Emperor, this is absolutely bang on in character for him 😩🙏✨. I’m gonna be completely honest I read half of the books and they kind of suck so I probably missed a lot…. Unless it’s in the GAME???? (I do need this info, I will use this, the sword imagery girl!! It’s phallic!! It’s a knight in shining armour!! It’s giving a sword to a King!! It’s giving!!)

.2. THAT would be a spoiler now wouldn’t it ;) but I also think he wouldn’t want to rule Ferelden, but I also think he could actually become a good King, I mean he’s been practicing for it his entire life, he was born to be an Emperor after all, and also he hates the Grand Game, he’s not going to be frippery and nonsensical with politics and stuff, but also he is a warmonger so…. I mean, is he? He fights off a Nevarran army single-handedly by duelling and destroying their King? Commander? Saving all his men from a war by being hot shit lbh. Idk I can’t remember exactly. He’d be a great King, I love him, I make the rules ✨🤷‍♂️✨.

.On a side note I 100% think he could take over a country easily, which makes me wonder if he even wanted Orlais as it was, with the Grand Game and the nobles who he’d never respect. Oohhhh. That’s smth.

.3. I think uhh I would have to insert a new Inquisitor because Goddard makes Gaspard Emperor and Celene and Briala are both killed off…. But it was set after Inquisition, so I do imagine it would be anywhere between a few months to a few years after. But, in this world state, I could just say the Inquisitor left for whatever reason (idk chasing Solas or something) and Gaspard most likely despises them for allowing Celene to remain as Empress and for killing his sister Florianne, BUT he probably respects them because the Inquisitor did save the world, and his cousin, and give his sister a valiant death in battle? Or does she just get arrested, if she was arrested I imagine he doesn’t respect the Inquisitor at all for that. At least she’s alive? But then again… hmmmmmm…. Smth to think about.

.If anything it’ll be a background thing, OR insanely I could set it post WEWH and pre-Ending? The inquisition could still be happening… OH the humiliation, not only did Gaspard fail to get the Orlesian throne but he’s been exiled for his association with Florianne, they can’t trust him at all! Oh! OH! Delicious, yes, delicious 👹.

.4. My Warden is Andrastopher Cousland, there is a lot about him floating around on my blog I’m sure. He’s 8’ 1” or 8’ 3” and is an absolute unflinching bastard. Marries Zevran, becomes the Teryn of Gwaren, the Arl of Amaranthine, the Warden Commander of Ferelden, and advisor to the King (he does sub out his work but he will also stomp right back in and take charge at any moment (v annoying)). He also re-titles himself as The Silverlite Warden as a way to split his faction of Wardens away from the Wardens in the north (because wtf are you doing Jowin?) and that is why none of them travel north to help out in Veilguard.

.He absolutely hunts down every Howe who still lives, butchering them and whatnot, spends a lot of his free time painting (mostly naked men and landscapes), he learns the Qun, he has slept with both Hawke and Rook. He steals from nobles because it’s fun and they can’t do anything about it, he fills the Warden ranks with criminals, he fills his home with mercenaries, he lets people try to kill him once, and he thinks the only thing he’s bad at is dying.

.ALSO!!! I do want to say my original plan for him was the go through his calling (with Lei Mi’Durgen’s help) and becomes a ghoul in the Deep Roads who keeps his mind and like helps Wardens pass through safely or something idk…. Veilguard just did that, they made that canon for me, so like 🤷‍♂️ good prediction on my part tbh.

.But if I’m going to make a non-canon Inquisitor, might as well have a non-canon Warden 😔🙏. RIP Andrastopher I do love you but you would just fight with Gaspard or take over the throne yourself, not a good match and I am stopping this train of thought before I end up shipping HoF/Gaspard because that’s insane, that’s insane, no.