#that army of wardens was insane

[e-adlirez]

“I’m gonna give you a chance to run, and go tell every single person who you know about what just happened today. I want you to tell Rat, I want you to tell everybody. This… this is what I’m capable of now.”

Crappy drawing I made as quickly as I could, I dunno exactly all the lore in the Content SMP but one too many @doctor4t videos has done this to me and my curiosity—

c!Lux belongs to @luxintrus and c!Blake belongs to @winsweep

[ir-abelas-vhenan]

I'm always interested in analyses that portray a romanced Solas as a predatory hee hee trickster god manipulating a young and impressionable Lavellan into falling for him and if that's your world state go ahead and live your truth b/c it's frankly none of my business, but I sincerely think there are those who forget that for a lot of people, a romanced Lavellan is (with all due respect to my own Solasmancing Inquisitor Rielle Lavelllan) batshit crazy. Having her boyfriend turn out to be a wolf god is honestly the least of her problems but oh boy is she unafraid to become one to fix this mess.

This is a woman who woke up in a dungeon with a glowing hand, figured out she could fix the world, and thought "fuck it, it's not like I'll have anything else better to do if Corypheus sticks around. Also. Everyone here kind of looks like they want to kill me, so maybe I'll stick with the protective powers that be for a minute." And then all of five seconds later she gets her hand snatched by a sketchy elven apostate who knows exactly what to do with her shiny new powers and cannot stop himself from having a Mr. Darcy level hand-flex after he lets it go (in my heart and soul this happens just out of the camera's gaze) and goes "hmm maybe there's something to be said for this world saving thing."

This is a woman who brought an entire fucking avalanche down on herself and three of her closest friends (and I do mean closest as in physical proximity, she doesn't know these people who are looking at her like she's Thedas' Next Top Idol) because even if it killed her it was the proper middle finger to send to the wannabe god bringing his army tap-dancing down the mountain pass towards her on the one night she had scheduled off to celebrate finally taking a W.

This is a woman going Take 2 Electric Boogaloo on waking up with no idea where she is and learning she was successful in spite-dragging herself up a different fucking mountain in a blizzard. Except now everyone is fighting wait nope now they're Kumbaya-ing a song Andraste's Herald should really probably be familiar with whoops, oh thank God, time for a side convo with the same apostate who's been trying to turn her entire life into a history class only for her to dive in headfirst (much to his initial abject horror) and get that good good discourse she needs since she can't go around arguing with everyone else like she wants to. "The orb is ours." You know what? Of course it is. But if they need the world saved from an elven oopsie, who better to right things than an elf? Fuck it, we ball.

This is a woman who misses being close to nature and goes positively feral at Skyhold, yeeting herself over balconies and banisters and turning the ancient fortress into her personal parkour playground because she's got energy to work off and shit to do, and if the path of least resistance to hunt down everyone she needs to talk to is coincidentally the same path that will absolutely wreck her knees by the time she's sixty, that's just how it has to be.

This is a woman who finds herself back at Haven with a man she's found it possible to be unfetteringly unabashedly herself with and thinks, "hey, maybe there could be more than the flirations we've exchanged over heated discussions and philosophical deep-dives, maybe I can have just one smooch as a treat." And when she feels her slowly unfurling passion reciprocated only to be shut down? She resolves herself to fight for this fledgling love and all the fade tongue that comes with it. This is a woman who gets the tiniest glimpse of what a retirement plan might look like after this whole saving the mortal world thing and buys all the way in.

This is a woman who has Grey Wardens to save from themselves, an empire trying to self-cannibalize, and still finds the time to go rescue a spirit because she, as a fellow comrade caught up in this mess, knows damn well that no innocent deserves to suffer if she can help it while she's got this insane amount of power she never asked for. And if that happens to lead to the man she feels safe enough to nap on the library couches with confessing at last the feelings she knows he's been smothering beneath his all-too-collected surface? Yeah, she'll take that W.

This is a woman who gets absolutely blasted head-over-ass into the fade and goes "honestly things were going a little TOO well." This is a woman who sneaks a peak at the closest fears of the companions she's come to know and love and goes "not on my fucking watch." This is a woman who sees that the man she forces herself to learn the old language for, her vhenan, fears being alone more than anything in the entire knowing world and resolves herself to ensuring it never comes to pass.

This is a woman who gets the opportunity to shape the government of a straight up country and runs around collecting wooden fucking halla in a palace full of elven servants with no time to dwell on that particularly cruel irony because out here it's scheme or be schemed. This a woman who collapses against a balcony railing after putting out some of the sickest literal and metaphorical dance moves The Game has ever seen, resigned to bear her ever-increasing burdens alone, only to find her heart and his horrible horrible hat extending a hand, promising her that if he is not alone, then neither is she.

Like, do you feel me here?

And then he dares to think something as sudden and damning as the truth is enough to keep her away? The queen of tough conversations and tougher choices? No, no, dear readers who have made it this far into my descent into madness.

Inquisitor Lavellan is a master-class in encouraging the odds against her to fuck around and find out. She is a rift-mending false-god-bashing politcally savvy terror upon all of Thedas. Solas (and all of the living breathing world) is lucky she took time out of her busy schedule to notice the way his smile softens when talking about spirits or appreciate the fluidity of his form when they're obliterating venatori out in the field. This man cradled her cheeks in his shaking hands, looked into weary and wide eyes and called her beautiful, and had the audacity to steal her heart before trying to peace out and take it with him.

If she's got to track down a real god this time and frog march him into the fade to reclaim both her heart and the future she fought for because all he wants to do is launch himself like a meteor towards achieving his greatest fear, if she has to spend hours lecturing him on the sheer audacity of his ass while spirits float by and realize they're grateful they never had the chance to take on a body and subject themselves to a verbal lashing this brutal, if she has to do cartwheels around him while dropping all sorts of sweet nothings in the language she is now quite proficient in until he gets it through his luminous gleaming skull that when she said "var lath vir suledin" my girl meant it? Then that's what she's going to do.

"I wish it could, vhenan."

Oh it's going to, buddy. Buckle up to get wrecked, to get absolutely loved and cherished you fool, because Inquisitor Lavellan is not the Dread Wolf's prey, she's his hunter.

[gods-favorite-autistic]

If the bad kids played Minecraft

Gorgug: redstone builder my guy loves making rollercoasters and security systems and anything redstone for the others, loves the enchantment table and fights monsters purely for xp, has a little farm of rainbow sheep and flowers, his workshop looks like a flower (Fabian may or may not have made it he just came to the joint world and found it there one day)

Fabian: achievement maniac he must prove that he is the best at the game, loves all the fortresses and like the raids and all of that, fights any monster he sees and brings the spoils back to Adaine for her building, hoards all the gold and diamonds he finds and refuses to share, once killed a piglin on accident and had to give all of his gold to Fig, main person who finds and downloads mods for everyone (he has the nicest computer after all), has a list of which person got one mod after everyone started fighting about who requested a shaders mod that just makes everything look really pretty but also insanely slows everyone’s fps (it was Gorgug he liked how it looked)

Fig: trying to make and collect everything she physically can and if she can’t she will find a way, has about a million mods installed because why not (her personal world is like 4 fps), “rules the nether” (Adaine turned a fortress into a castle for her and she only trades with piglins), has at least one cd playing at any time and tries to start a campaign for one of her songs to become an official cd (it almost works)

Riz: automates everything and anything he can, just does insane experiments for funsies, has a gang of iron golems and a village that he rules with an iron fist (is very offended that fig refuses to trade with his villagers, has waged war on the nether multiple times but Fabian (his “knight”) and Gorgug (Figs “knight”) refuse to fight each other), Kristen is banned because she keeps trying to start a rebellion

Adaine: the builderrr girlie likes her games on peaceful and her structures luxurious, she made a castle for all of her friends in her joint world (even if Fig and Riz usually sleep in their kingdoms), does not know how to fight in the slightest so she just enlists Fabian and Gorgug (Riz makes her pay to enlist Fabian in tnt no Adaine he is not making another nuke what are you talking about), genuinely a good archer but freaks out anytime she sees a monster and becomes instantly useless so she mainly uses it for hunting purposes

Kristen: loves mining, also has a million pets like if she can find a way to make it a pet she will (she once tamed a polar bear nobody knows how), her room in Adaine’s castle is in the basement with little mining carts that Gorgug made her that go throughout basically their whole world, runs as fast as she can away from any Warden chamber (she cannot fight), has an army of snowmen in a cage, technically has a fee for being the blacksmith of the group but forgets every time, has a White House built somewhere in the world after the school election

Bonus!

Ayda: Crafts books so she can write in them, lives in Figs castle in another room than Fig (for the drama, according to Fig)(“the fans will love it!” “My love who are you talking about nobody is watching us” “excuse you my tumble audience is very much enjoying our live-blogged tragic love” “my paramour we are literal blocks”), rotates between living there and living in the tallest tower in Adaine’s castle, is fascinated by Gorgugs inventions

Ragh: Fighter, insists on only using his bare fists, drinks any potion he finds, is the only person willing to go on raids with Fabian and Gorgug, figured out a way to play bloodrush in game, loves elytra’s, lives in a dirt hut that is big enough for him to stand in next to a bed and nothing else, Adaine built him a room (that looks like a gym) in her castle but he prefers dirt hut

Aelwyn: Only on there for the cats, steals Kristen’s cats any chance she gets, surprisingly really good at fighting but refuses to fight unless absolutely necessary, has one mod on for herself and it’s the shapeshifting mod (no clue if that’s a mod or part of a game mode) so she can prank Adaine anytime she wants, loves making tnt even if she doesn’t use it (“the goblin uses it in funny ways” “Aelwyn he is exploding a village” “like I said funny”), fucking hates goats and polar bears for no reason

[vigilskeep]

dao gives you lots of options to make the timeline absolutely insane but one of my favourites is the idea of playing the mage origin and then doing redcliffe first, so jowan fled kinloch, ran all the way to near denerim, got captured, met loghain, got convinced by loghain to take a job as connor’s mage tutor (how did loghain know about this?) and poison arl eamon, went to redcliffe and got a job as connor’s mage tutor (???), poisoned arl eamon, fucked up connor’s training but made enough progress that connor could open tears in the veil, connor makes a deal with a demon and the castle gets overrun with his zombie army, and jowan gets imprisoned and tortured by isolde, all in the time it took for the mage warden to literally just go from kinloch to ostagar to redcliffe

[rosegoldenatlas]

mom said its my turn to make a life series bingo card

Here is the full list of squares if you want to make a custom card for yourself (feel free to use any of the images above to play along)

the free space is called FIRST DEATH (FREE SPACE)

Monopoly

diamond sword alliance

wolf army

5AM Pearl

TNT minecarts

boogeyman

Joel tries to kill Scott

trap backfires

maniacal laugh

Scar does something risky

arson

dying to mob

death to fall damage

watcher lore

new skins

villagers

stealing the enchanter

callback to past season

acronym team name

Scar scams

Triple kill

wither or warden

someone can’t make it to a session

failed MLG

cult

‘family friendly YouTuber ‘ moment

Canary curse returns

Wordplay joke

Embarrassing death

Cleo says something hardcore

Gaslight Gatekeeper or Girlboss

Joel goes red first

Joel highest kill count

Shirtless Scar

Pet death

Joel/Bdubs rivalry

Someone goes insane

Fishing rod kill

Joel just wants his wife

‘Washed up’ mention

From green to red in one session

‘SCAR NO’

Someone goes past world border

Someone gets way too attached to a pet

Someone’s pet is stolen or killed

JOEL WINS? (I’m manifesting shut up)

Traitor/betrayal

Boat boys mention

Minigame

Joel v Scott

[mama-frog]

Session 7 Brainrot

I have so much to say about what happened this session so I'm gonna categorize this by person.

Gem: I find it incredibly interesting that she was the person given this task. A) Because she is the one the only Geminislay, B) Because she is like fresh meat to the watchers, C) Because of the infection she is already going through. The darkness spreading across her body probably made her more susceptible to the curse at first than anyone else on the server. She's such a strong player overall and the fact that she had a whole army behind her is terrifying.

Grian: The fact that he didn't get caught by the zombies says a lot about him. He's very good at running and hiding (especially from watcher stuff). I also want to point out WHERE he hid in the end of the session. The pesky bird went into a comfort nest. Definitely unintentional but definitely fun to think about.

Scott: Scott and Gem are, in my opinion, some of the smartest people on the server, so the fact that he didn't get caught doesn't surprise me and surprises me at the same time. Everytime Scott got boogey in a previous death game he did it in a way that was unsatisfactory for the watchers (Not actually killing and killing as soon as possible so the others weren't brewing up a pot of tasty negative emotions). He felt betrayed when Gem finally started to go after him (Even though she didn't go completely nuts until she turned red) and he has such a strong sense of loyalty to his allies. There's also some juxtaposition of him hiding underground while Grian hid in the air.

Martyn: Even though it was on a technicality, I think it's interesting that he was the only one not allowed to be infected. It's as if the watchers know that his chaos is secured and are trying to get the others in line with what they want to see. Also, he's just so damn good at being a red name, I feel like he's the only person to do it correctly in this series. I also feel like he was cheated out of his revenge plot on everyone else on the server because of the curse which might've been intentional on the Watcher's end.

Cleo: She is an icon and she IS the moment. I just love the irony of her being a zombie and not getting infected by the curse. I feel like her closeness to players like Martyn and Scott helped her in her ability to avoid the curse for so long. She's very smart with her allies this season.

Pearl: I'm terrified of how quick Pearl is to go insane when given the chance. Especially when it comes to her dogs. Tilly is always in her heart. This woman was YELLOW and decided on her own to bring up a warden when there already was one. And her gear is so well enchanted. She has learned a lot from previous seasons but she has also lost a bit of her sanity (Especially from double life). What a woman.

Joel: I don't know why he thought spawning 64 zombies so close to him and not on the others was a good idea, but man was it good comedy. Once he became a boogey he played really well though. He's so perfectly unhinged and after Lizzie dying he has very good reason to go insane on everyone else (The spine bit was cruel and unusual punishment). Underrated POV in my opinion.

Scar: Unhinged

Etho: Ok this part hinges on my theory that endermen are creatures created by the Watchers to interfere with the games. I fully believe that the watchers hated Etho being green so badly that they personally interfered to take him to yellow. The betrayal of your own tool killing you is a tasty snack for the watchers to enjoy. (Definitely not just Etho being washed up). Also the way he is so incredibly loyal to his team members even after being cursed. He's just a stand up guy.

Impulse: I just love the way him and Gem interact. He's like a proud dad whenever she does anything. That's it.

BDubs: I cackled when he got killed by a zombie again. Gem is hilarious for that. He did about as good as I expected under the curse. I do love all his interactions with Etho more than anything else. Those two are such unofficial soulmates (in a non-ship way).

Skizz: A true light on the server. All the better for the Watchers when he gets corrupted by the curse. He deserved to be mean after the heart got burned down.

Tango: This man's rage is so interesting. The way that it gets triggered most when people mess with his base is something I think could be explored (the ranch in double life, the ties base in limited life, and now the heart foundation).

Overall I have a lot of emotions about this last session

[sapphim]

found out that some companions, like wynne, will leave your party if they don't like you enough, which is absolutely insane, in my opinion. a pair of young wardens up against a world-ending blight, in need of all the help they can get, and people like wynne will just tell them point blank that they won't help the wardens save the world because they don't like them enough. at least the inquisitor has a large army and spy network, but the warden has virtually nothing for most of the game. :o

are... you assuming that you'll drive wynne's approval all the way down to a crisis point by getting into a handful of arguments about the merits of the circle? without also like going out of your way to insult her or by doing nasty shit like sacrificing innocents? this isn't a walk in the park, your companions are fighting and dying for you and they quite genuinely don't have to do that. they can go fight and die anywhere else if you're going to be a raging dickhead about it.

I've been extremely consistent in expressing that I think one of the best parts about origins is that you can choose to fight nearly all of your companions and they can, in return, tell you to go piss up a rope and handle the fucking archdemon yourself.

skill issue. you're not owed a personal army. you are, as you said, just some chump with nothing to your name. so stop pissing off the people fighting and dying for you or face the totally predictable consequences of your actions.

[phightinghottakes]

And continuing on, because I'm honestly just realizing this, WHY is there SO MUCH about Medkit. Because look at all the shit he's involved in. I can bet if PHIGHTING was a show or some shit Medkit's crap is a whole ass season.

So I'll say this, if Medkit's entire Thing is allowed to be a season, THEN GIVE OTHER PHIGHTERS A SEASON OF THEIR OWN.

Because what the hell, look at Ban! Isn't he supposed to be The Warden of Banland???? Isn't there supposed to be more to his rep than just him being insanely rude and putting people in prison-happy??? Like what kinda bull crap has he done to gain that sort of reputation??? Yeah sure he's a demigod and Windforce's son too but COME ON. W H A T E L S E ?

And let's not get started on Blackrock. BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK DID YOU START THE WHOLE MEDKIT STUFF AND THEN JUST DROP THE ENTIRE THING. JEZEEZ. IT COULD BE SO DAMN COOL BUT NO INSTEAD HAVE A CULT.

AND! Scythe. Oh-ho, What The Fuck. Make her have something that ISN'T JUST about the damn cult. Maybe she DOES dedicate her entire self to it but still. Make it be something that was about the cult at first but then turns into something else, make it be something that was something else but was then turned into a cult thing. She NEEDS more to her character AND lore. Hot woman in a cult won't cut it, especially for those that Could Give Less Of A Fuck. The people who will truly appreciate the lore needs lore that will be appreciated.

I could say SO MUCH about the other characters, but these are currently what most people are talking about so. ¯\_(:/)_/¯

(Get socked by a boomerang, bitches.)

- 🪃 anon

I am so mad that they’ve sidelined Blackrock in favor of a stupid cult.

Blackrock is so cool to me. It’s like if you took the Octo Army from Splatoon but didn’t have them all stuffed underground and also they did horrible horrendous things instead of making really good music.

[marley-manson]

One of the show’s biggest flaws is excusing the army volunteers and its general ‘some army good’ messaging, and as a consequence Hawkeye’s biggest flaw, accidentally, is caring about his friends too much.

Like, totally reading against the text here, this is presumably not meant to be a problem, but it’s one of those once you see it you can’t unsee it things. And to be fair it’s backed up by Bless You Hawkeye lol, it just wasn’t intended to be applied this way. It’s also totally in line with the rest of Hawkeye’s character, and it’s my favourite type of flaw, ie the negative flipside of a virtue, so yk I’m biased towards seeing it.

Hawkeye making friends with Margaret and never calling her out on her politics again (again, not intended, reflective of the narrative, but incidentally fitting for Hawkeye), Hawkeye making friends with career man Potter and softening his anti-army stance, affirming he does respect Potter and reigning in his protests (eg the end of A Night at Rosie’s) and conceding to him philosophically (eg the end of Your Retention Please), Hawkeye supporting Mulcahy’s promotion endeavours and saluting him, Hawkeye warming up to Charles not when Charles’ politics shift (which doesn’t happen) but when Charles supports him emotionally...

Even early on you can make a case for Hawkeye having blindspots where people he likes are concerned - mainly because the politics of the show are wishy washy and vary from era to era and episode to episode and joke to joke, but yk, the point of this is to incorporate the flaws of the show organically into Hawkeye’s character. So you can point to indications of hypocrisy like, say, Hawkeye condemning western cultural influence in Korea in various jokes and statements on one hand and supporting Catholic orphanages on the other hand.

But like I said, this is perfectly in character for Hawkeye, which is why I think it works as a reading for me. I don’t like to take flaws of a show and and use them to interpret a character in a way that feels unintended or contradicts other characterization. But Hawkeye likes people, and he always tries to see the good in them as much as possible, and he has a textual history of downplaying the harm people do in favour of the good things, specifically because he loves them. 

And I think that “love” is the operative word here. It’s not because Hawkeye is weak-willed or has low self esteem or thinks anyone else knows better than he does or thinks he doesn’t have the right to challenge others’ opinions or anything like that. Love is the core of Hawkeye’s character.

Hawkeye forgets Billy pushing him into the water and only remembers him saving him because he loves him. Hawkeye forgives BJ for punching him the instant he apologizes and then lets him cry on his shoulder because he loves him, and empathizes. And if love is sometimes too strong a word, well, Hawkeye also just likes people. He views people optimistically, and always tries to see the good - the cavalier bomber in Dear Sigmund who he disillusions surprisingly gently imo because Hawkeye says he seems like a good guy; the general he has a drink with in Say No More before realizing he hasn’t changed his attitude despite his son’s death; the way that even early on he supports Margaret at times, and sometimes even tries to make nice with Frank...

And it just makes sense to me to take that same logic and follow through with other characters and similar situations. Colonel Potter is a career army man who essentially acts as the warden of a prison as far as Hawkeye’s draftee status ought to be concerned but he’s loveable and therefore Hawkeye loves him. By drafting him the army essentially drove him insane, and Hawkeye’s last gesture to Potter is to salute him.

Margaret is racist, isn’t challenged for it and never has an episode where she realizes she’s wrong in her us vs them worldview, is also career army, and has tried to have Hawkeye and his friends court martialed multiple times (and would’ve gotten Henry executed incidentally if her plan had succeeded in The Trial of Henry Blake) and it’s all forgotten about - yes, mainly by the narrative, but also consequently by Hawkeye, watsonianly.

It creates a very interesting tension when you take these things watsonianly instead of dismissing them like the narrative does, and I’m really into it lol.

[thethirdvoerman]

on my replay of origins i went so insane over both my warden surana and loghain and the complicated dynamics of idolisation and loss of humanity that i started writing fanfiction

so uh

wars of this land are all fought by children

Summary: Loghain Mac Tir is spared at the Landsmeet and has to undergo the Joining, though he hardly considers it mercy. As he starts traveling with Warden Vitae Surana, he is forced to confront that the woman at the head of this army is painfully human, as all people are.

Word count: 1667

[kiivg]

ok this is research anon. might i ask you(if you are thinking of rewriting. Which I hope you do but not pressure obv):

1. will moira's sword come into play? if alistair knows that it was gaspard that returned the Rebel Queen's sword perhaps they might use it as a symbol to pacify the nobles?

2. in the end do you think gaspard's gambit for the throne could succeed?

3. how do events of inquisition influence what is happening? sorry if i missed something but this is happening after it yeah?

4. YOUR WARDEN. I AM CURIOUS. PLEASE TELL.

.Reaearch Anon I do love you for this 💕 I’m very tempted to write something because it’s like…. Nobody else is going to lbh….. 😔.

.OH this is a bit long, have a read more 💋.

.1. I didn’t know that happened tbh, where is this info???? I love this?? Gaspard my Liege, my Lord, my Emperor, this is absolutely bang on in character for him 😩🙏✨. I’m gonna be completely honest I read half of the books and they kind of suck so I probably missed a lot…. Unless it’s in the GAME???? (I do need this info, I will use this, the sword imagery girl!! It’s phallic!! It’s a knight in shining armour!! It’s giving a sword to a King!! It’s giving!!)

.2. THAT would be a spoiler now wouldn’t it ;) but I also think he wouldn’t want to rule Ferelden, but I also think he could actually become a good King, I mean he’s been practicing for it his entire life, he was born to be an Emperor after all, and also he hates the Grand Game, he’s not going to be frippery and nonsensical with politics and stuff, but also he is a warmonger so…. I mean, is he? He fights off a Nevarran army single-handedly by duelling and destroying their King? Commander? Saving all his men from a war by being hot shit lbh. Idk I can’t remember exactly. He’d be a great King, I love him, I make the rules ✨🤷‍♂️✨.

.On a side note I 100% think he could take over a country easily, which makes me wonder if he even wanted Orlais as it was, with the Grand Game and the nobles who he’d never respect. Oohhhh. That’s smth.

.3. I think uhh I would have to insert a new Inquisitor because Goddard makes Gaspard Emperor and Celene and Briala are both killed off…. But it was set after Inquisition, so I do imagine it would be anywhere between a few months to a few years after. But, in this world state, I could just say the Inquisitor left for whatever reason (idk chasing Solas or something) and Gaspard most likely despises them for allowing Celene to remain as Empress and for killing his sister Florianne, BUT he probably respects them because the Inquisitor did save the world, and his cousin, and give his sister a valiant death in battle? Or does she just get arrested, if she was arrested I imagine he doesn’t respect the Inquisitor at all for that. At least she’s alive? But then again… hmmmmmm…. Smth to think about.

.If anything it’ll be a background thing, OR insanely I could set it post WEWH and pre-Ending? The inquisition could still be happening… OH the humiliation, not only did Gaspard fail to get the Orlesian throne but he’s been exiled for his association with Florianne, they can’t trust him at all! Oh! OH! Delicious, yes, delicious 👹.

.4. My Warden is Andrastopher Cousland, there is a lot about him floating around on my blog I’m sure. He’s 8’ 1” or 8’ 3” and is an absolute unflinching bastard. Marries Zevran, becomes the Teryn of Gwaren, the Arl of Amaranthine, the Warden Commander of Ferelden, and advisor to the King (he does sub out his work but he will also stomp right back in and take charge at any moment (v annoying)). He also re-titles himself as The Silverlite Warden as a way to split his faction of Wardens away from the Wardens in the north (because wtf are you doing Jowin?) and that is why none of them travel north to help out in Veilguard.

.He absolutely hunts down every Howe who still lives, butchering them and whatnot, spends a lot of his free time painting (mostly naked men and landscapes), he learns the Qun, he has slept with both Hawke and Rook. He steals from nobles because it’s fun and they can’t do anything about it, he fills the Warden ranks with criminals, he fills his home with mercenaries, he lets people try to kill him once, and he thinks the only thing he’s bad at is dying.

.ALSO!!! I do want to say my original plan for him was the go through his calling (with Lei Mi’Durgen’s help) and becomes a ghoul in the Deep Roads who keeps his mind and like helps Wardens pass through safely or something idk…. Veilguard just did that, they made that canon for me, so like 🤷‍♂️ good prediction on my part tbh.

.But if I’m going to make a non-canon Inquisitor, might as well have a non-canon Warden 😔🙏. RIP Andrastopher I do love you but you would just fight with Gaspard or take over the throne yourself, not a good match and I am stopping this train of thought before I end up shipping HoF/Gaspard because that’s insane, that’s insane, no.

[morievna]

Why Port Mafia will stay as vampires

Hello~~

This time I wanted to broach something different^^

I usually like to check fandom opinions when new chapter drops and there was something that really puzzled me – that lot of fans thinks that vampirism needs to healed and like it is the worst thing that happened to our characters.

I mean I understand feeling protective about characters – ofc, it is bad to lose free will, but from story perspective it is just another trial to test our heroes and help them grow. They will be fine, don’t worry^^

But still, no matter how this arc will conclude I think that PM will stay as vampires and here are my reasons:

PM is coded similarly as vampires from very beginning

You know the basic – both vampires and PM are strongly associated with night and death.

As part of Tripartite Tactic PM stands for night. Moreover, through the story PM is compared to night very often -  maybe even almost enough for drinking game xD

“The merciless tyrant of the night and his army of the death – that was what people called Port Mafia”

“It’s time to remind our enemies why we used to be called the terror of the night”

– both from Fifteen

“Mafia takes their role as ‘Wardens of the night’ seriously” – Dazai about PM in ch 46

“Whatever pride they have in their speed, they can’t run from ‘the night’ forever” – Mori in ch 46

There is probably more, but you know the drill.

As for death – mafia rules through power dominance and killing is not a problem to anybody from that group.It is just the way they works.

And visually too – i mean, just look:

Especially in anime, they gave him so much vampire lord aura xD In manga too, his ‘doctor’ attire is just an act and his true self is PM leader in that fitting clothing - black trench coat, red scarf and white gloves – which all are very vampire style. Through this perspective even Elise can be interpreted that way – immortal being in a form of young girl – just like Claudia from Interview with the Vampire.

Speaking of that novel  - you know there is also insanely powerful redhead with bad temper xD Though it can be just coincidence as personality-wise Armand and Chuuya are very different and have rather opposite morals xD

Let’s move to Aku:

Whole Akutagawa appearance is much reminiscent of vampire – pale complexion, black coat with white jabot - really give that feel. Also Akutagawa uses a bit of archaic language, which is something often appearing in vampire stories too.

Frankly, imo from the start Asagiri thought of Akutagawa (and maybe whole PM) eventually becoming vampire – after all, our MC Atsushi is were-tiger (as a spin on werewolf) and in pop-culture natural opposite of werewolves are vampires just like Atsushi-Aku are.

Vampire healing as power-up

If you look at it practically – vampire healing can actually be really useful for main PM characters:

Chuuya – healing will help a lot sustaining wounds during Corruption (I am 80% sure we will going to see it in next chapters) and maybe even vampire mind control will help with controlling Arahabaki

Akutagawa – healing as bypassing his incurable illness. Just honestly, I would be very surprised if Asagiri intends Aku to stay dead for good – he is just too important to Atsushi and Dazai character arc

Tachihara – as Hunted dog he needs monthly check-ups to not die. Healing would render that not needed if Asagiri intends for him to stay in PM, which is most likely as he is ‘true mafioso’ at heart

Even for rest of PM like Higuchi, Gin – healing would be strong asset as well.

To sum it up, it is just too good opportunity on too many levels to let it slip

Vampirism and abilities are not bad

It is important to look at it from thematic perspective – abilities are not villains of the story but the people who use them in wrong way.

Vampirism is not the main problem to our protagonist, but the fact that Fukuchi and Fyodor use such methods (vampirism, one order), which robs people of their free will to achieve what they want. Even if their goal is not necessarily malevolent in its nature – still it is very ‘the end justifies the means’ approach which is morally bad one.

Especially it is important that source of vampirism – Bram is just being used by DoA and he personally doesn’t want to create any fledglings. But again, because Fukuchi controls him via sword – he had no choice but to spread the infection or die. 

My guess is that we will see Atsushi running into Aya and Bram in next chapters and that after internal struggle he will realize that killing Bram is not a option - that ADA goal should be to free all vampires from mind control. Even it could go how usually vampire stories go – that vampirism as skill will be transferred to someone from PM (probably Mori or Aku, though it can be also Fyodor), who will switch off mind control.

And this would grant happy ending for Bram too – starting to live as normal human - pretty please, poor man has been through a lot T_T

Ofc it is just my theory and story can go other way – but still it makes more sense to me than simply healing everybody from vampirism and returning to status-quo. But we will see~~

Thanks for reading and have a nice day💖 💖 💖

[ghostinthegallery]

What is your vision for a perfect video game about necrons? Like what do you think it should be about? And what kind of gameplay? I mean, most of the wh40k games are either rts, turn based or shooters, but could it work with other genres? 🤔 Sorry for unusual question lmao

Dating sim (lol)

Okay actual answer. Did you ever play Tyranny? It's a really good crpg from a few years ago where you essentially play as henchman in an Evil Overlord's army and it's fantastic. Lots of scheming and plotting and questioning loyalties with excellent characters and gameplay. Plus some very cool mechanical quirks, like how one character will literally hijack your tool tips to talk to you? I'd love a set up where you play as some random low-level lord climbing your way up the ranks during a dynastic conquest or something. Recruit a sassy cryptek, a deathmark that will maybe betray you. A loyal warden. Combine that with some Disco Elysium style stat bs (which is not dissimilar from Oltyx's subminds actually...) and I am a set!

Tl;dr Tyranny with a necron skin plus a dash of Disco Elysium for insanity flavor

[aib-detectives]

The Mage Did It (Probably) pt. 3

Double/late update because I was traveling, apparently can't read a calendar, use the schedule post function right. Editing is.. editing. I can't promise this is perfect here guys. Also, yes, Tyrus is who we blame for anything. ~ Gigabyte ---

Looking at the ducks in formation, Catherine frowned. Starting with magic right away was not ideal, but she didn’t see any other way around it. Mumbling a few words under her breath that sounded strangely close to fae Gaelic’s ancient roots, she focused on what little magic she could grasp at on the ducks. Magical symbols appeared etched into the rubber and glowed a bright blue before each duck exploded with a pop into non-existence. Satisfied, she walked forward, her path now clear, and took a seat next to Tyrus. “You know, ducks are a new low for you.”

Tyrus took another sip of his drink and glanced over, unimpressed. “You missed out on the flamingos last week.” He slurred his words together. “Been a few years since I’ve seen you. If you’re here to yell at me, get it over with. But this is an unseen bar, so I’m not doing anything illegal.” Distasteful, sure, but not illegal. “Travis?” He asked, waving down the bartender for another drink. “You transfigured all the ice into ducks,” the bartender told him, and went back to his job.

“Well excuse me, I wasn’t here last week.” Catherine stated. Flamingos would have been easier to deal with than his insane rubber duck army. “Warden Price told me that this was where I could find you.” She said. Pickled and transfiguring random bits and pieces into rubber ducks, flamingos, or anything else his alcohol addled brain came up with. “And for the record, I’m not here to yell at you. I have a job for you.” Catherine added. The alcoholism was going to be a challenge to deal with. Molly, Xiaolian, and Maria’s brands of chaos were going to be bad enough. Catherine didn’t want to add an alcoholic mage to the mix as well. “You can take it, or I can leave you here drowning your sorrows and feeling sorry for yourself. Your choice, Rahal.”

“Careful calling me that. It pisses the parents off.” He said and sat up more fully before pulling out a purple sobering potion and downing it. “Travis, can I just get some water? The potion doesn’t account for dehydration.” He asked. He was not all that thrilled to be sober, having been enjoying the buzz from the alcohol. But he also knew he was the most expensive consultant on call, and they had yet to waste his time. “What’s the job, Catherine?”

As is typical with AIB investigations, the details were kept confidential. The team was decimated, leaving only the injured warden. The cause was undisclosed.

“I don’t give a flying fuck what your parents think.” Catherine pointed out. She had spent this long flying under everyone’s radar. She intended to continue to do so. Her allegiances and loyalties outside of AIB were really nobody’s business, and she wasn’t about to share her entire life story with people she barely knew. “La Lechuza.” She said, “We have New York and Hong Kong’s space-time specialists, and a new academy grad. I just figured we’d add to team fuck up, you know?” Not that anyone really knew where she’d disappeared to for the last couple of years. The Council had been keeping quiet on that one. Instead, here she was again, suddenly, hair shocked completely white, thinner, and wearing glasses. “This is only if you’re interested, however.” Catherine emphasized.

He stretched and considered it. “La Lechuza, huh? You’ll need ranged spells for her.” He stood, amused, and downed the water the bartender had brought him, then gave a slight smile. “Sure. It’ll give me a break from the court’s research, and I could use a good fight. How the hell did a new academy graduate end up on team fuck up, though?” There was no way a fresh graduate could have pissed off the Council that much already.

“She volunteered.” Catherine deadpanned. Maria was just as insane, if not more so for even volunteering. “Spells, yes, but we need to know the specifics. It took out an entire team of specialists.” She clarified. Most of them, she had suspected, were human or very close to, which might have been why the Council had put together such an unusual team. Humans sat on the magical power or Orphic scale, at about a 3 max, whereas other members of the unseen could wield twice that. There were rumors of possibly individuals past a 6 on the scale, but they were just rumors and myths that no one really cared enough about to confirm either way. “Who the hell volunteers for Dallas? Have you sent her to a psychiatrist yet?” Choosing Dallas was the height of insanity. “I’ll dig out all the specifics tonight and have something ready for you tomorrow, probably around noon.” He offered, still shocked at the idea of someone volunteering to be a Dallas Specialist. “That’ll be shortly after I wake up, anyway. I’m pretty sure I know where in my library that information is. Good luck dealing with at least one insane team member. I still have your number from the last case we were on together, so I’ll call you there to confirm I have everything tomorrow.”

He headed out the door, already in a better mood, since he had something actually worthwhile to do and a decent fight to look forward to. Or at least it better be a decent fight.

Catherine didn’t know who in their right mind would volunteer for Dallas, but Tyrus may have had a point. “We’re all insane and we’re fucked.” She said to herself more than anyone else as she left. The sooner she got out of the bar, the better. The good news was she had convinced Tyrus to assist them. The bad news was it had been almost too easy.

[drgmissioncontrol]

And now, dear followers, we get to witness a truly amazing and remarkable moment. Rare do we get a chance to fully unleash the Marines. Rarer still is it to get to unleash one of the Elite Ten platoons. And completely unbelievable, statistically impossible, is it for that to be broadcasted to the galaxy. But that is the situation today places us in.

For those who do not know, Deep Rock Marines are organized much like an army, but there are ten platoons of elite infantry known as the Elite Ten or simply The Ten. There’s a pretty even split between determined dwarves with proper technology, and straight up sociopaths that we enable.

For example- did anyone happen to catch that leaked list of red flag individuals from the Federation a few months back? It was a PR nightmare. One hundred thousand entries were on the critical threat classification. Just over nine thousand of those entries are employed by Deep Rock in some capacity. Seven and a half thousand of them are Marines.

And the Dread Barons are some of the worst. Because, sure, we’ve got maniacs like the Warden of Holy Flame, or even platoons like the Bugbreakers, who pretty much only know two phrases (“Burn bugs!” And “The only good bug is a dead bug!”), but the Dread Barons are worse. They’re not insane, or sociopathic, or even neurotic.

They’re angry. These are men who wake up in the morning, watch their best friends get torn apart by bugs as they absolutely mow living creatures down, and go to sleep, every single day. Their minds are beyond broken. They are so broken they have formed a new consciousness, one that we can’t be fully certain is connected to what we call reality.

Call it inhumane, we’ve tried to retire them. We can’t. These Marines know that the only thing they can do now is kill bugs, and they will absolutely defend themselves if they feel their purpose in life is being supplanted.

These are the Dread Barons. Their regard for any life that isn’t Dwarven is unspeakably low. Most of the time we can only put three or four in the field at once, because they will- no exaggeration- raze a cave down to pure compressed granite in about fifteen minutes otherwise. And I’ve just deployed all fifty, to one location, in one movement. This has only ever happened thrice before, and the last time it actually fundamentally changed the tectonic interactions of the planet with the force from explosions.

So this is what those bugs have in store for them, my friends. And Black, if you’re out there, this is what you’re staring down the barrel of. Watch and learn. Deep Rock has changed. We’re ready for a fight.

[foxeroni]

VOTE FOR JOEL

Reasons:

1. He is an absolute loser and a pathetic meow meow

In season 2 he is so insecure that he goes out of his way to make lore in order to make it cannon that he is tall and sexy. His own wife refuses to be his lawyer because she knows he will lose.

Going off the last sentence, in last life, whenever joel interacts with lizzie she always talks about how incompetent he is before and afterwards. In the one scene where she flirts with him, he has the most awkward and uncool respince possible. She votes for him to die first and profits off it. He dies 4 times in the second episode and looses all his friends (only had one to begin with).

In afterlife when Joel has objectively the best origin in the game, he needs an umbrella to walk in the rain. He dies in his second origin because he accidently walks off a cliff. When he has the supposedly "cool" origin (iceling) he falls into a cauldron by accident.

(Have not wached x life yet)

2. Joel is also a total whore

He sleeps with sausage in like the third episode of empires s2. He and his worst-enemy-turned-friend Jimmy fuck barely 2 episodes after they become friends. His wife is a ten foot tall axolotl hybrid who could absolutely step on him and he would let her.

In the first few episodes of double life he takes as little damage as possible and tries to stay out of trouble on green and yellow despite his soulmate going to the deep dark and spawning the warden, all while building a lovely and flammable home.

Joel also flirts with Jimmy in empires s1 and somehow asking Jimmy to be his best man is more romantic than a marriage proposal to his own wife?? He has bi wife energy.

3. He is absolutely unhinged and chaotic

In third life, he tames a wolf army and sicks them on absolutly everyone. It is also believed that one of the life series 'curses' is that the player that tames the most wolves is the most unhinged.

When he goes red life in LL, he tries to get kills on absolutly everyone possible, he also has no hesition when lying to his teammate when he is the boogeyman. He goes on a killing spree with grian at the end, it's even said by Scott that dying of "natural causes" included dying at joel and grians hands.

During double life, as soon as the ship burns he immediately starts burning everything and goes on another killing spree. Also, the first thing he does after dying a second time is killing someone with zero hesitation.

He starts a whole religion and goes on a whole villan arc because of a fucking donkey. A fucking donkey.

Now this is not physically, emotionally, or even that visibly unhinged, but. Let's rember that this is the guy who spent like over twenty hours worth of building in Jimmy's empire for the purpose of 'it would be funny'. It is literally insane. On that topic, all his bases are also absolutly insane, one could say, unhinged.

4. Do it for...

Vote joel, for he derves to win the mcyt sexyman bracket. And if this has convinced you that he is too pathetic to vote for, then do it for his son hermes. Hermes is too precious for this world and his other dad sadly got out of the competition yesterday. Do it for the smol armor stand demigod lore child. Or do it for donkey Jeremy, idk.

Shoutout to @infamousvamp , who inspired this post, I tried to add more stuff and make difference points, but you should check out https://at.tumblr.com/infamousvamp/vote-joel-smallishbeans-for-mcytblr-sexyman-2023/ngx5hduweccw , the original. In the end though, it really dosnt matter, as we all would like joel smallishbeans to with this competition, or at least this round. Hopefully this has either influenced your vote or reminded you how pathetic joel is. Vote here at https://at.tumblr.com/mcytblrsexymen/round-four/kprd9e10zjmp